Let's face it: a lot of us don't know a lot about love. No matter how many books we read - fiction or advice - experiencing it is a whole other ball game. It can be scary and exhilarating to go through something like it when it does come through.
I don't think I'm the only one who gets frustrated with the tropes I find in the latest romance blockbuster. What's romantic and all-encompassing for one can be toxic for another, and I can only read so many of the same type until I get annoyed and want to write something of my own.
And yet I'm scared when I want to write my own story. I'm afraid of being inauthentic, cheesy, overly idealistic... even for fiction.
However, I always remember that fiction does have an impact on how we think about things and the characters that do those things, and I get tired of the same narrative. Nothing is ever one-dimensional.
This post is for anyone who has a life-changing tale on their hands but fears a lot, especially their inexperience showing in their prose. I hope this post can help you get past your fears and write what's true to you, public or private, to save a whole generation or just your friend.
Take notes!
1. Think about all the times you absorbed relationship advice to get a man/woman before the end of the year or the month...
Think about all the scenarios revolving around them if the outcome was in your favor... and write about them.
Pour your emotions into them, worry about the editing later.
You want a different ending for the story, write it. The power's in your hands.
It's interesting what sentences and quotes do to a person's mind, so write something about that sentence - fear nothing, make sense of it.
2. Think about all the romance you read in the past. Consider the aspects of what worked and what did not for you.
One example is the best friend who watches their love interest's heart get repeatedly broken and nursing them until they see they're the best and finally love them back.
You don't need to experience it to know how it has impacted you.
Perhaps you felt like the best friend has no self-worth and you felt the sadness of being invisible.
Perhaps you wished the hurt friend would just stop dating, heal, and appreciate what's in front of them.
You decide to write a story about this best friend choosing themselves and hoping for the best for their best friend. You don't believe in suffering for love.
Another example is curiosity about the events of a picnic date, and you've yet to experience it.
With the information you've gathered about it (Instagram posts, cute vlogs on YouTube), you decide to write about a romantic Sunday afternoon spent eating your favorite snacks with your favorite person, talking about the future. Sure, you will feel sad writing about it when your crush is probably doing it with someone else, but you writing it can signal hope. I personally think it's a sign that you believe in love, even when nothing or no-one is nearby.
3. Write about the opposite of what hurts you.
Like the best friend example above, writing about what you want will make you feel better. You also get to put an end to harmful stereotypes and express your worldview.
You don't like it when a man controls what a woman wants to keep her, even when she's not treated well?
write about it, as hard as it is.
Want to write a poem about red flags looking normal behind rose coloured glasses?
Go ahead, even when you don't know what it's like to see the worst red flags, just write about how it makes you feel to have to look out for them on the road of love.
Want to write about an imperfect, yet stable family?
Do it! Not every family needs to have a saga of greed and murder. Sometimes it's about fixing imperfect bonds and how a family comes together for a birthday, the love palpable in the air.
Don't let your inexperience stop you from expressing yourself. Don't let it show in your writing either by improving on what you write. Read about it. Get into feeling it through each word.
You may have been stopped before in the past, but it's done now.
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