One narrative I cannot stand is being strong, all the time. Strong being emotionally cold, lacking empathy and being judgemental of those who cannot be.

Especially when you live in less-than-ideal circumstances. You're constantly being told to 'be grateful' , 'try harder', 'just hold on' when time is clearly moving quickly before you with little to no progress on your end. All you want to do is sit down and cry, but crying makes you weak??

I am so glad for the increasing awareness of mental health in my generation and Gen-Z, us sitting down to make others know that poor mental health can be the root of a bad life. You can only be strong for so long, keeping up a smile even as your eyes prickle from frustration and grief. We are taking steps to let our guard down a bit and heal. Whether it's taking walks or reducing or eliminating social media, we are trying, instead of suppressing the bad feeling.

I was at home for a year and half, away from places and people that hurt me on so many levels. The pandemic may have been bad for some, but it was my sign to not be so strong. I finally gave myself permission to do what I wanted, no matter what people thought. It was time to put myself first and find my source of strength from other places. I look back on those days sometimes and lighten up because I dealt with the hard things with nothing trying to take over.

I am tired of the suffering Olympics. I am tired of having to prove that my life is bad so someone can feel bad for me. I am tired of convincing myself that my situation(s) are not that bad, that the sadness will pass, when it is not in fact sadness but depression from not dealing with how I actually feel.

I get it. Few people are able to sit with their feelings and deal with them because they are so many of them. Not everyone can cry or vent all day with all the things that we need to do, but your body and mind will make you rest. You will not be ready for it, but you can watch out for the signs.

Seeing other people not be as strong is uncomfortable. They are sacrificing time and energy dedicated to survival to try and redirect to enjoy their lives. They are sacrificing the status quo to grow, and it can be hard to watch if you are not able to do it. 

It will be even harder for you when you take that step. You will get stronger when you take the time to be you and figure out your life, your way. Your definition of strong will change. You won't have to pretend to be strong anymore.

*what's your experience with being 'strong'? what did it do to you? How did you find new strength?