For many women in romantic relationships, there is often the subject of exhaustion. A lot of this can be traced to the  role of Mothering that many women have taken upon themselves without even realising it.

Abby (30) says; "I think about my last relationship and I realised after the relationship ended how I played the mother role and wanted to be that for him in a certain capacity. His relationship with his mother was complicated and I see now how I wanted to morph into tht role which wasn't my responsibility. I was not his mother but in my head it was love so it was ok. It was like a project I took upon myself and that completely drained me".

Women like Abby are not uncommon in romantic relationships . Women often take on a saviour complex and blur romantic lines, crossing over to Mothering grown Adults who ought to be their partners. 

Many women believe it is their responsibility to fix broken men.

Society, often describes women as being motherly and maternal and many women erroneously take this into romantic relationships and this can have disastrous consequences.

For Ada (28) She says ; "As a first daughter it is by default. It's not even because we want to do it but because that's how we are raised and yes we are easily taken advantage of."

In romantic relationships,women must pull off the cloak of mothering. It is not your job to fix men who refuse to be adults and who refuse to do the work in being self sufficient.

How Do You Turn it Off?

It takes a lot of conscious effort to do this. Women have been socialized early on to carry on like this. However , it is very important to break away. Abby says since identifying this part of her life she is more deliberate in her interactions with men. She says ; "Recently I was speaking to a man and he was like I need you to baby me. Treat me like your child and I was straight up like No No I am not your Mother. I do not have a child. Verbatim. I didn't even try to be indirect. I am not a man's mother and I will never try to assume that position again."

It is important to pursue relationships with men who are self  sufficient and are committed to being Adults and do not need a "mother figure"

As women, it is also important to spot these signs early. The need to be coupled up should not override the need for self preservation.