There was a tweet I saw on the TL today that triggered me:

If you're losing weight out of hatred for your current body, you will never be free. Slimness or 'the perfect body' is an elusive idea. You will never stop chasing it.Accepting and loving your current form, before trying to change it desperately is a much better alternative.

This tweet triggered me because that is precisely what I’m doing; losing weight out of hatred for my body. For most of my life, I’ve always felt like if I lost weight I would love my body more and I would be happier. The one I’m not really proud of that I used to tell myself was that if I lost weight, people would like me more, especially boys (don’t judge me, I said I wasn’t proud of it). This year, it only got worse, the hatred for my body increased and I was trying to do whatever I could do to lose weight. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t shoot my shot, I only took selfies…It’s been a tough year for my self-esteem honestly. I would like to say I’m doing better, but that’s a lie, but I am trying. That’s why I wrote this article, I didn’t just write it for you, I also wrote it for me, and hopefully, I take my own advice.

According to Bodyimgage-therapist.com, internalized fatphobia is where an individual judges themselves through the lens of fat stereotypes — i.e believing they are lazy, gluttonous, out of control, unhealthy, etc. They believe they are personally responsible for their weight and see their bodies as unattractive.

So here are five ways to get over internalized Fatphobia:

Fat Doesn’t Mean Unhealthy

A lot of us are taught to accept that fat is always unhealthy, without ever being urged to ask why, or how, or if there might be other things going on. Because you are fat doesn’t mean you’re unhealthy. There was a video Lizzo released some time ago where she showed us how she works out but and she mentioned in the video that she doesn’t work out to lose weight but to stay fit and healthy. This showed us that being fat doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not fit or unhealthy.

Stop Saying “I Feel Fat”

When you use a phrase like “I feel fat” to belittle your appearance, what you are saying to those around you and yourself is that being fat is ugly. Fat doesn’t mean ugly, so stop using that phrase when you feel you don’t look good, or an outfit doesn’t look nice on you, or you feel like you’ve eaten too much. So, rather than insulting someone else’s body, and a whole lot of other people in the process, consider saying what you actually mean.

Work Out Because it Feels Good

If you feel inclined to work out more, consider doing so simply because it feels good and you love it. Don’t work out because you want to lose a certain number of kgs this month. Don’t work out because you feel too big. Don’t work out because you don’t like your body. Just work out, workout because you want to be healthy, or because you want to ease stress. Working out for the sole purpose of weight loss can begin to feel like a chore and it can get tiring and frustrating easily.

Wear Whatever You Want To Wear

Wear that crop top!! I see a lot of fat women being worried about their fupa and hence are afraid to wear tops that show their stomachs. Sis, that crop top would look great on you, wear it!! Wear that bikini, show off your thick thighs, wear that body-hugging dress, and walk with your shoulders high. You’re beautiful, own it. Wear whatever the hell you want.

Eat Whatever The Hell You Want

Stop punishing yourself by not eating certain foods just because you don’t want to be fat. If you don’t want to eat certain foods because they are unhealthy, that’s totally understandable and that’s okay. But if you choose a salad over a burger because you don’t want to get fat, or because you think people would be judging you, girl, stop it, right now! Let me tell you, as cheesy as it may sound, you’ve got only one life to live, and your one job is to live it the best way possible. How are you gonna live your best life, if you’re too busy worrying about not eating bread because it’ll make you fat? Or not wearing that tight dress because your love handles will show? Sis, you are beautiful, enjoy your life, fat queen!

I know that it’s easier said than done, but at least make an effort. Make an effort to love your body just the way it is. You’re fat and so fucking what??